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T4T, short for “trans for trans,” began as a simple personal ad designation on Craigslist in the early 2000s but has evolved into something far more meaningful within the transgender community. Today, it represents not just romantic connections between trans people, but also encompasses friendship, solidarity, and mutual support.
Origins and Evolution
The term originated in Craigslist personals as a way for trans individuals to find and connect with other trans people, creating an alternative to the traditional “m” and “w” categories. However, T4T relationships existed long before the internet era.
One notable historical example is the love affair between Roberta Cowell and Michael Dillion in the 1950s, demonstrating that trans people have always found ways to connect and support each other.
More Than Just Dating
While T4T often refers to romantic relationships, it has grown to represent several important aspects of trans community life. As over 100 anti-trans bills swept across the United States in 2024, T4T networks became crucial lifelines. These connections go far beyond romantic relationships – they’re about survival, joy, and creating the family many of us were denied.
Mutual Support and Solidarity
T4T relationships often provide a unique form of understanding and support that comes from shared experiences. These connections create safe spaces where trans individuals can fully express themselves without fear of judgment or the need to explain their experiences constantly.
Community Building
T4T spaces foster community resilience and collective strength. Through these connections, trans people share resources, knowledge, and support systems that us help navigate both personal and societal challenges.
Self-Love and Empowerment
T4T relationships and community connections help foster self-acceptance and pride. As noted by many trans activists and community members, loving oneself as a trans person is itself an act of resistance in a world that often challenges trans existence.
Some T4T organizations that offer support in multiple ways include:
- Transgender Law Center (TLC): The largest national trans-led legal organization, fighting for trans rights through advocacy, litigation, and policy work.
- Black Trans Advocacy Coalition (BTAC): A national organization led by Black trans people, focusing on healthcare, housing, employment, and leadership development.
- Brave Space Alliance (Chicago, IL): The first Black- and trans-led LGBTQ+ center on the South Side of Chicago, providing mutual aid, resources, and organizing support.
- Queer Trans Project (Florida, National Impact) – Provides free gender-affirming kits (binders, tucking supplies, HRT care packages) and offers leadership opportunities for trans youth.
What does it mean to embody T4T in your own journey of self-love as a trans or gender-nonconforming person? At its core, it’s about reclaiming the power to define your own path, free from the expectations of those who don’t see or support you. You get to be the architect of your own healing, creating space for self-love that is deep, intentional, and entirely yours.
T4T self-love exists all around us, woven into the ways trans people uplift each other, share knowledge, and build community. Whether it’s through media, personal stories, or collective care, there are countless ways to see yourself reflected and supported. Here’s a resource to help guide you on that journey.
T4T in Media and Popular Culture
T4T relationships have appeared in books, television shows, and movies, and each one tells a different version of an intracommunity love.
“Detransition, Baby” by Torrey Peters and “Nevada” by Imogen Binnie are T4T cult classics for the ways the authors narrate the complex, dramatic, and heart-twinkling stories of their characters’ relationships. “I Have Always Been Me” by Precious Brady-Davis is a memoir touching on her own T4T love and family.
On television, we’ve seen iconic couple Nomi (acted by Jamie Clayton) and Amanita in the sci-fi fantasy series “Sense8”. Over in New York’s ballrooms, the T4T extends beyond the romantic and into the chosen family, where Angel, Blanca, Elektra, and Lulu support each other as sisters, mothers, and daughters.
Some other places where T4T relationships are explored include:
Movies
- “Tangerine” (2015) – A groundbreaking film featuring T4T friendship and community
- “Happy Birthday, Marsha!” (2018) – A short film celebrating trans history and relationships
- “Disclosure” (2020) – Documentary featuring T4T relationships among its interview subjects
Web Series and Online Content
- “Her Story” – Award-winning web series featuring T4T relationships
- “The T” – Web series exploring trans experiences and relationships
Magazines and Media
- “Original Plumbing” – The first magazine for trans men by trans men (2009-2019)
- “TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly” – Academic journal with dedicated coverage of T4T topics
- TransLash Media – A trans-led storytelling and media platform amplifying trans narratives through podcasts, documentaries, and digital content.
- The Girls Book – A trans woman led magazine archiving and celebrating trans feminine culture!
Notable T4T Stories
Recent years have seen increasing visibility of T4T relationships in media and popular culture. Some notable examples include:
- Miss Major Griffin-Gracy and Beck Witt, whose parenthood journey at age 79 demonstrated that it’s never too late to create family
- Myles and Precious Brady-Davis, who shared their pregnancy journey on TLC’s “My Pregnant Husband”
- Alphonso Mills and Ja’Mel Ware, whose family story provides an important model of Black trans T4T love and parenting
T4T relationships and communities do more than just connect trans people—they create essential spaces of care, solidarity, and celebration. In a world that often isolates us, these relationships provide support networks where trans people can share transition-related knowledge, swap resources, and pass down hard-earned wisdom.
They also build political power, strengthening grassroots organizing and ensuring that trans voices are heard. Just as importantly, T4T spaces offer emotional support that goes beyond what cisnormative spaces can provide, allowing trans people to be fully seen and understood.
Looking Forward
As the visibility of trans experiences continues to grow, T4T connections remain crucial for community resilience and individual well-being. These relationships—whether romantic, platonic, or community-based—help create spaces where trans people can thrive, support each other, and build stronger futures together.
The concept of T4T reminds us that love, in all its forms, is a powerful force for personal and social transformation. As trans communities continue to face challenges and celebrate victories, T4T relationships provide essential foundation for mutual support, understanding, and celebration of trans lives and experiences.